My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
