he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i will never coherently bang her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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