Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
