It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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