what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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