I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
