One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
