Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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