He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
