as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize