Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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