he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
