just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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