Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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