'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize