what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
