Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize