You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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