You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
