So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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