Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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