That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
