I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
