this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
