I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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