where am i from again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
