And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
