I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she woke up with a sticky ear
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize