he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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