would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
