Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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