those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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