At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
