My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
