Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
