We won't sleep together?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
