the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish you could order shots online.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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