i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is wine microwaveable?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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