Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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