doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
