I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
