It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
