your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
