Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
