how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
