Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
