just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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