well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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