explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
