i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
