i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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