you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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