you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
