so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
