Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
