what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
