just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
