If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
