what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
