She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
