I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
