one two three fourrrrnication!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
