apparently the secret to your success is patron
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
