I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
pray to the hookup gods
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