oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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