We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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