I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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