I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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