Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
