i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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